Not really. I’m oddly non-cynical right now. Pretty content, actually. New job that has made my life eleventy-billion times better. New room-mate who is fucking awesome and whom I could see being family in the long term. We got our other stolen cat back just two weeks ago, and it’s like he never left.
I’m in a really good place right now. And I’m even learning to enjoy it instead of sitting clenched, waiting for the other shoe to fall.
I’m good. Really good.
And I think I need to spend some time on mindfulness and thanking whatever it was that got me here, whether I give credit to outside forces or my own subconsciousness. I can’t recall being this happy in years. It’s kind of scary, but nice.
I need to remember to not only speak to the Universe when I am sad and in need of help, I need to remember to be grateful for the good as well. As do we all.
And I’m not talking about Transformers.
This weekend, I reconnected with some old friends. We hadn’t seen them in nearly a decade. Their retreating into being hermits sort of coincided with some weird growing pains I had going on in my late 20s/early 30s. Long story. Anyway, a couple of years ago, I woke up from a dream that the female half of the couple had died, and immediately called to see if she was ok. I talked to her husband who said, yes, everything was fine, but thank you for calling.
I didn’t hear from them until a couple weeks ago.
It seems that a few weeks after I called, she decided to go in to the doctor’s, just in case. She wound up having a quintuple bypass and being very lucky that she’d gone in and done it then. As she hadn’t had a heart attack, her heart was undamaged and with the renewed blood flow to her heart, she should be fine for a long time to come.
And shit like that is why, though I am skeptical about a bunch of stuff, I just cannot bring myself to write off a lot of “woo.” Because it’s asking me to write off my own experiences of life, and take it on faith that those things I’ve experienced have no basis in reality.
I think the thing that keeps me from fully embracing atheism is the fact that I think living in a world without the possibility of magic is kind of a horrible thought. Even if sometimes that magic is scary or could hurt you.
I don’t know. Just a thought.